Things I’ve learned in Nicaragua
– Do not step into the gutters on the side of the road. All manners of fecal matter, bad water, and other such diseased things are flowing down the road.
– It is appropriate to throw trash into such gutters
– It is also appropriate to walk down the middle of the road, j-walk, and step out in front of buses while crossing the street. Not only appropriate, but a norm.
– If you are white- you are rich. Everyone will ask you for money and expect that you have it.
– People like it when we speak in our accented, poorly conjugated Spanish
– Taxis will honk at you to get out of the way, honk at you if you are walking (they think maybe you need a ride), and just honk at any white girl that they see
– During the month of December, celebrating means getting up at 4 am and blowing horns, yelling, walking down every road, and shooting off fireworks at all hours of the night. It also means parades and firecrackers at all hours of the day as well.
– If you want tortillas, you just have to go to the market and look for the old lady yelling “Torttttttiiiiiiillas” – paying a Cordoba per fresh hot corn tortilla J
– People like to take American songs and play them repeatedly, and sing them even though they have no idea what they are saying. Micheal Jackson is highly favored and is sung by adults, little kids, and old people. BEAT IT , Just BEAT IT!
– Black mambas, scorpions, lizards, and giant spiders are always present.
– If you don’t have such things as can openers, cheese graters, sharp knives, blenders, microwaves, or even ovens, its ok, food is still cooked
– Pineapple in the US will never taste as good as it does in Nicaragua
– Milk in a bag is not good
– Nicaraguan cheese tastes like disgusting salty bitterness, but surprisingly every Nicaraguan I’ve met loves it.
– Grama is the best tasting drink I’ve had in a long time. Its hard to describe. Its like a tea with lots of yumminess added. Cacoa is also quite tasty
– Papa Johns Pizza in Nicaragua tastes just as good as Papa Johns in Columbus, Ohio
– Nuns in Granada are some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. They just exuberate joy everywhere they go.
– When your cat gets spayed, and you don’t have an E-collar, make one out of cardboard and duct tape.
– Gallo pinto is yummy
– You have to fit as many people as you can in a bus from Managua to Granada. It is imperative that you squeeze at least 30 people in a tiny van. Then you must go at least 70mph
– “Tuani” – means cool in Nicaraguan Spanish
– Nicaraguans hate barbecue sauce
– It is perfectly acceptable to kill a pigeon in your backyard and then make it into a soup
– If you buy a tricycle with a giant basket in the front (we call it the Nacho Libre bike) and drive it down the road (with Amber in the basket) – you will be famous. Everyone will stop and stare, take pictures, and yell at you
– Dancing is a norm: bachata, merengue, and salsa
I cant think of many more right now but I’m sure there will be many memorable experiences to come and I will continue to add to this list.
